Dear Mom and Dad,

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’ve always wanted to thank my parents but for some reason, either the words came slowly or perhaps were forgotten after speaking them. So I am going to do it properly now, and have it be journaled forever. I know my Dad is watching everything and is beside me all the way and my Mom’s Cherokee blood will hear me dancing on the wind.

Dear Mom and Dad,

Did I ever tell you how lucky I was? How blessed? Firstly, my entrance to this world was one of sheer luck and serendipity and probably never would have occurred except and only by divine intervention. Who would think a Yale grad from Pittsburgh and a dancer from Saint Louis by way of New Orleans would meet, have me and go live in Europe and the Mid-East.

My childhood was spectacular first off. I swam in the Aegean Sea naked at 3 with you Dad and rangled baby mountain goats in Mykonos while on holiday. Mom had me backstage with some really famous people when we came to the States for her tour. I wore sparkled and bejeweled costumes far too large for me but made my first on stage appearance in Washington, DC and stopped the show. They put a baby blue spot on me. You have both simultaneously introduced me to the wonders of the Universe and the sparkle and glitter of show business. Dad, I loved when you read to me Homer’s Odyssey, MacBeth, Robinson Crusoe etc.,  and Mom I loved when you taught me the time step, worked on my turn-out and helped me get more height with my grande jete’.

Thank you for the ballet lessons beginning at 4 and violin from 5 to 16. I still dance all the time and my finely tuned ear and metronome timing is spot on. But Dad, you always knew I loved drumming. I think it was so far out in left field as a girl and I’m sorry I never made first row violinist or went to Bryn Mar. But, I can play a set of Ludwigs or Yamaha’s pretty darn well. Reading charts escapes me for some reason though. I play by ear.

Dad, thanks so much for my intellect. It overwhelms me at times because you taught me to be such a deep thinker and to question everything. I do both daily. I guess because of that, I love to learn and absorb like a sponge. I loved studying marine biology and still regret not taking that position at Woods Hole Oceanographic. I think it is my only regret. But it worked out fine. I’ve got great sea-legs, am fearless offshore and can fish like a pro with the guys and know almost all the species; flora and fauna in Latin. Thanks for the Latin lessons too Dad. You were right, it pays off. It is the root language of all things.

Mom, I really never thanked you properly. My sense of humor I know comes from you. My cooking, from French to Low Country, Soul Food to Cuban, Mediteranean and everything in between come from you too. Also my smile and my tender love of all animals and plants. Because of you I am an organic gardener and an environmentalist, but not a tree-hugging liberal. I also got that from you. For a performer you sure did have a great sense for politics and all of our conversations eventually got me to major in Poli Sci as well. The years and years of ballet training is one of the greatest gifts of all you gave me. I think I will dance for the rest of my life Mom. Remember me watching the movie, “The Red Shoes” over and over and over? Dancing is my soul and I also have a peculiar fondness for red shoes.

What you both have given me I have given to my children, Gregory and Erica. Gregory is a brilliant writer, producer, director and editor. Erica is a willowy, elegant and beautiful photographer who loves horses and rides as if it were a ballet. I could not have asked for anything more in this life. And now Sophia, who is just like me. She dances and sings and paints and reads and absorbs everything. She calls lizards here in Florida “wizards” and catches them in a big pink net. Though I’m not correcting her diction. I think maybe they are little wizards.

Your legacy lives on through us and we will always be grateful. We all miss you so badly Dad. I feel you near me now and then and know you’ve come to my side most recently to open doors and windows of knowledge and clarification where none existed before.

All of my love….

Your daughter Jacqueline

Advertisements

Summer’s Yellow Eyed Snapper

No, this is not a perverted joke. My friend Tiff has a dirty mind. This is another one of my fish recipes…

2 or 3 fillets of fresh caught yellow eyed snapper. Or grouper or Mahi if you have that.

Place the fillets in a bowl and lightly coat with extra virgin olive oil, juice from 1 fresh squeezed lime, a pinch of red pepper flakes, a pinch of sea salt and fresh ground black pepper. Let this sit for a bit.

Finely mince one red onion, one green bell pepper, one mango, fresh mint and lime juice and place in a bowl and keep chilled.

Wrap the fish in a piece of tin foil or if you have it, and I do because it grows right outside, wrap it in a large banana leaf and gently tie it off with bakers twine.

Place on a very hot grill and turn the fish after 4 to 5 minutes on each side.

Open the banana leaf and place the leaf with the fillets on a platter and spoon the mango confit over the fish. I like to add a sliced banana to the mixture as well at the end. Don’t worry, the banana won’t brown because of the citric acid in the lime juice.

I generally pair this with jasmine rice, which the confit goes nicely with as well and a salad of baby mesclun, strawberries, pecans and baby goat cheese with a balsamic vinaigratte I make from scratch.

Bon Appetit!

Indie Rock Profiles: Woodfish (New Jersey Quintet)

Featured

It has been my pleasure to become well acquainted with a group of musicians  from the New Jersey shore for the past several years. Hailing from Red Bank, NJ,  the band Woodfish is comprised of two brothers, bassist Steve Kalorin and  drummer Dominic Kalorin, Don Honeycutt on saxophone, John Samuel on guitar and  Luke De La Parra, vocals; up front and center.

Upon first meeting, I was asked to listen to them play and in all honesty  after hearing bands perform several times as a talent agent, I was not overly  excited to go and frankly not expecting anything spectacular.

Having come from a background in music, as a classically trained violinist  and drummer, I not only hear every note, chord, riff, pick up, break, beat and  tone, just the slightest aberration will send me running out of a venue after  the first three chords. I can also tell if what I am about to see has good stage  presence and a good stage vibe and has a hooked out, marketable talent. Woodfish  has all that and more.

When I walked into a small venue in Belmar, NJ, to hear Woodfish perform for  the first time, I was more than pleasantly surprised. Not the typical rock band,  this was a super funk, jive, jam, jazzy party band with a wailing sax player. I  wasn’t sure if it was a Red Hot Chili Peppers revival or a seasoned and  funky NYC jazz band with a ragtag bunch of guys in flannel shirts and torn  jeans. I was about to have my socks rocked.

WoodfishWoodfish is led by Steve Kalorin who plays the bass like nothing I have ever  heard. And, he writes the material. Trying to put him into an appropriate group  of contemporaries, my best guess is he is the newest version of Flea or a  reincarnated version of Jaco Pastorious.

Steve is to the bass what Eddie Van Halen is to the guitar. Not only is Steve an  accomplished bassist, he puts on a stage show (sans clothing, unlike Flea), in  which he slaps the bass with a beer bottle hitting all the thick, hard driving,  bending bass lines and melodic chords without a hiccup. It is truly something  that needs to be seen as well as heard.

As one might expect, you will also hear some very funky jive riffs a la  Bootsy Collins of  the Parliament-Funkadelic. Steve has won the Best Musician  Award several times at the Asbury Park Music Awards annually held at the  infamous Stone Pony in Asbury Park, NJ where I have had the honor of attending  on a few occasions.

Rounding out the band is Domenic Kalorin, Steve’s brother on drums. Together  they produce a sound and resonance, heavy bottom end and a driving force that is  highly unusual in any of today’s indie rock bands. With an unusual mixture of  the sounds of Stuart Copeland of The Police and Buddy Rich, plus the precision  of Neil Peart of Rush, Dom’s drumming is imbedded into his soul and you may  wonder if he is ever absent from his kit. When I listen to the Pennsylvania band  Live’s song, “Insomnia and the Hole in the Universe,” I am always reminded of  Dom playing drums. The lyrics, “My brother kicked his feet to sleep,” must have  been Dom as a child.

Luke de la Parra is up front as vocalist and brings a swarthy, gritty Joe  Cocker-style of bluesy vocals to the band. Don Honeycutt playing sax brings an  eclectic, jazzy, NY retro sound reminiscent of Stan Getz. John Samuel’s adds guitar leads and rhythm on cue  and perfectly orchestrated to fully compliment this bass driven quintet.

On their first CD release, Bamm Didley and their newest CD release, Starlight Remedy, Woodfish manages to blend effortlessly sounds like  surfer music icon Dick Dale and funk icon Bootsy Collins along with killer  ripping Flea-esque bass lines. The vocals are sometimes reminiscent of Darius Rucker and always gritty  like Joe Cocker, but newer and more rocked out like perhaps Scott Stapp of  Creed. There’s ’70’s style guitar riffs like Bachman Turner Overdrive and newer  alternative rock with Stan Getz styled sax overtures lilting throughout.

Overall, I would say Woodfish is virtually impossible to define musically.  They have created their own music genre and the only way to understand their  sound is to hear them live and experience the deep, eclectic mélange of their  vast musical repertoire with decisively rock and roll roots.

Woodfish is a very talented and hard working group of musicians and it is my  honor to profile them. And I must say, being backstage with them when they  opened for Foghat at the Blender Theatre in NYC was a pure  treat and one of the best times of my life as well as an incredible show.

You can check out its current tour schedule and download Woodfish tunes at woodfishmusic.com.

This article was published first on Blogcritics.

Read more: http://blogcritics.org/music/article/indie-rock-profiles-woodfish-new-jersey/#ixzz1Muu4dDp0

E-Book: Are you in a relationship with a Sociopathic/Narcissistic Man?

It has come to my attention that a lot of people, mainly women, are very interested in understanding the personality traits of a sociopathic liar, a womanizer and a man with a possible if not probable sexual addiction. Many of my readers are coming forward with many questions and a lot of their own stories that deserve recognition and deserve answers to. I feel it is my duty to share my knowledge and experiences with them and offer them assistance.

I have been asked to compile my findings into an E-Book. The book will define, describe and outline many of the traits of the sociopath. Much research is being done to back up these findings. Who these men are, what types of jobs they generally hold,  family and upbringing anomalies, etc., that can lead to this type of behavior.  It will alert women to the machinations and manipulations of a very serious and accompished sociopathic womanizer.

Though some may view this as simply a normal dating occurrence, it is far from that. These type of personalities are extremely destructive. They don’t merely date casually. They enter into loving, committed relationships while masking a guise of deception, fraud, manipulation, sexual deviation and emotional and psychological abuse that they perpetrate upon an unwitting victim. Usually a female, and usually a female who is vulnerable. Their victims suffer enormously. In many cases, they commit suicide. We are not discussing anything likely to be perceived as a casual or light hearted affair. This is quite serious, takes time to develop and the perpetrator who is always in control, determines the course that the relationship is on. The victim is never aware of that course. We are talking about a dangerously abusive personality that feels no compunction for what they do nor any remorse whatsoever for the consequences that they incur.

The term “player” is far too simplistic here. Even a “player” will make it obvious from the beginning he is seeing multiple women. Or if he does not, it is generally quite obvious in a short amount of time. Only someone who is sociopathic is able to conceal his true intentions for a very long time.

My experience was with someone who was extremely romantic, loving, charming, charismatic and insistent who was masking a very cruel, manipulative agenda from the start. Only his own needs and feelings were of any concern to the detriment and callous abuse of his victim (s).  These are the hallmarks of a full blown Narcicistic Personality Disorder. To define it, a sociopath and a psychopath are one in the same. NPD is a sociopathic behavioral trait. To be sure however, there are varying levels of this disorder. Please take note, most are non-violent. There are 70 million sociopaths on the planet right now. Only a small fraction of them are violent. I know both types and I am the survivor of 2 violent interactions and 1 non-violent; but an extremely manipulative and emotionally destructive one that spanned 2 years and 2500 miles.

The book will specifically outline each trait and behavior in chapter form.  It will offer tips on how to recognize these behaviors before getting caught in their web of deceit and the ultimate suffering that follows. And as a bonus, thanks to my dear father, god rest his soul, there will be additional chapters outlining how to “see” remotely, how to uncover and expose the truth. How and why to follow hunches and peculiar feelings and also how to accurately perceive something that may seem quite normal but is far from it.

I will leave you with one clue for now. It is from my Dad who was a CIA operative. When you “view” something, whether it is in life or in a photograph, or even in the written word, it is critical to train your eyes and ears to “see” the unknown and to “hear” the silence and read between the lines. When the book goes live I will let you all know where it can be purchased online. It will retail for $14.95.

While doing my research I am coming across some very interesting, frightening clinical material. Here are links I have found most telling: Please take note of the information pertaining to the “spouse” of a narcissist in the first link and read the articles closely. Make sure this is not you. The second link is very clinical and dry but extremely informative as well.  The third link outlines M. Scott Pecks book, The People of the Lie.  I published an article for Blogcritics based on this and my own experience. I highly reccommend reading the book. Narcissists and sociopathic liars share many common traits.  Many are outlined in my posts filed under the category for Narcissistic and Sociopathic Behavior.

http://www.thenarcissistinyourlife.com/borderline.html

http://www.drtomoconnor.com/1060/1060lect04b.htm

http://www.geftakysassembly.com/Articles/Perspectives/MalignantNarcissism.htm                                                       

Thanks again for joining me. 😉

Summer

11:11

Summer’s Blackened Mahi

Today was incredible. Let me start by saying that watching the sunrise was spectacular on my beach and it made my morning coffee that much better. By 9:30 am I saw the first pod of dolphins. By 10:30 a manatee approached me at low tide, again. They must really like me because its happened frequently to me. By 4 we returned back to the beach and saw a huge Manta Ray, 2 enormous Parrot Fishes and 2 enormous Queen Angelfish. The colors are breathtaking on these 2 species. And for some reason I particularly like the parrot fishes buck teeth. They look so humorous and so beautiful both simultaneously. Parrot fish bang those buck teeth into the coral and eat the polyps inside spitting out the coral particles. It is what makes sand here in south florida. Then I made dinner and I would like to share my recipe for fresh caught blackened Mahi here:

Lightly coat the Mahi in olive oil, a pinch of sea salt and fresh ground black pepper and a few pinches, or to your specific taste, of Indian curry. Grate some fresh ginger root onto the fish and crush and finely mince some fresh mint. Mine grows outside my kitchen door. Thoroughly toss the fish into this mixture and let this sit for a while.

In a cast iron skillet heat about 1/8 cup of olive oil and 2 pats of sweet butter. I clarify the butter first, but it’s not necessary. While your pan heats up, start preparing your sides.

I pared the fish with minted baby peas, which I add a teaspoon of sugar to and spanish rice and cornbread with creamed corn mixed in with gruyere cheese melted on top. You can use Jalapeno Jack cheese as well. I also made a fresh mango, (from off my tree) and ginger mint sauce in the blender to spoon on the fish.

Once the pan is piping hot, at about 3/4 to full on flame, place the Mahi into the skillet and let it sizzle up for about 3 minutes. Gently turn it and repeat the blackening on the opposite side. Voila! A meal fit for kings and queens and better than any trendy restaurant could possibly serve up.

Bon Apetit!

Permutations in Impermanence

Why is getting caught in a downpour offshore in south Florida so electrifying, so stimulating and so romantic simultaneously? I’ll tell you why…

Two days of lolling about the beach, riding waves and undulating in the surf; trolling offshore for hours, fragrant, sweetly oiled and salt drenched skin, the gentle rocking motion of the seas with nothing present but a moment. Away from traffic and noise and away from all the worlds bigotry, malicious religious beliefs and personal pretenses. All you have is you, a boat, the sea and the perfect companion. There is no room to be anything but real. A squall, rising off the horizon brings a bit of added tension, but not too much, just enough to get your motors revving. Making a moment precise. The period at the end of a sentence.

And, as if it weren’t enough, the sights and sounds of a placid, glasslike southern Atlantic ocean, 12 miles offshore, with sailfish shooting beneath your boat in 1000 feet of the most cerulean blue water you’ve ever seen, with its thick zooplankton and phytoplankton mixing up a prehistoric soup, is being one with the Universe. This is where god lives. We are one in this place and if it were up to me, I’d stay out there eternally. I belong here. My spirit resides here though I am earthbound.

Why is this place, where you are at its mercy, a mere speck bobbing on surface tension, in a world alien to ground dwellers so incredibly sensuous to me? I suppose it is the adrenaline rush of absolute acceptance, fearless trust coupled with the vast unknown. And yet I know it. I know it like I know the palm of my hand; the curve of my hips. I love it and it loves me back. Openly and honestly, without facade it accepts me into its arms.

Every day it beckons from my doorstep. Everyday I see what most never do. Manatees at lowtide approaching slowly and in circuitous fashion, surround me like an amoeba-like ball of bait fish, only to snort water from their nostrils at the last second in my direction. Late afternoons, with no one around, a marlin slams the surface to rid itself of sea lice bearing witness to only my eyes. Early morning, a shark patrols in 4 feet of water, passing by smoothely without intent. Baby loggerhead sea turtles, pop their heads out of the sand and scurry toward the shoreline on the full moons brightly lit sky.

When my father read to me Robinson Crusoe at 3, I believed, even though just a little girl, I could subsist on a island in the middle of the South Pacific. I still believe it. When I read Ernest Hemingway’s, An Old Man and the Sea, I believed I would too, haul to shore the biggest catch in the tiniest of boats. I still do. Though a metaphor, big things do come in small packages still… 😉 In Castaway, I believed in the pain in losing Wilson. It was much, much more than a soccer ball. He lost in order to gain something incredible. A pair of wings. I too have gained through loss and then rise like a phoenix from the ashes.

I am a believer. No matter what has or ever will happen to me in this life, I believe I can make happen anything I dream of. I see it in my head and I believe it with all my heart. I have learned that dreaming is believing and it is possible to string those dreams all together and live a dream of your own making from these permutations in impermanence.