I really didn’t know what to call this guy, this archetype, so I figured I’d get my head IN the gutter for this one. I am referring to a lot of different personality traits here, concerning The ***hole, but what I am not referring to, is the occasional, intermittent, temporary, ***hole. Everybody can act like that at least once in awhile and usually with good reason. I am strictly talking about someone who is and ALWAYS has been, an ***hole. Let’s see how many we can count.
1. The ***hole who is pugilistic. He is always picking fights everywhere and with anyone for no good reason. You can’t go anywhere with him because at the slightest provocation he will go balistic. He has road rage, all the time. He has a very short fuse. He hollers and shouts when speaking. He cannot shut up and the idea of thinking before speaking or acting is an alien concept. He picks on you for wearing something sexy even though he likes it and when you go out and get looked at by other men, he goes bananas. Total ***hole. Thank god I’ve never dated anyone like this. But I have friends who have.
2. The ***hole who is a mama’s boy. He was coddled as a young boy, so he needs to be constantly catered to. Women will run around like a slave cooking, cleaning up after him and tending to his every need like a baby, foregoing their own desires. He has very specific foods that he will only eat. He has temper tantrums if you overcook, undercook or are late with a meal. He whines that his 30 million has dwindled to a mere 10 million. He blames everyone around him for his problems, no matter what they are. He will blame his siblings, girlfriend and friends for his loss in income or his gain in weight. He is very prone to having a midlife crisis because he needs to feel like a little boy all the time and toys are important to him. Unfortunately, I did date someone like this and oddly enough, he was a heavy metal guitarist and owned a large engineering firm.
3. The ***hole who cannot be honest. He lies about his whereabouts, his music tastes and food preferences. He lies about his relationship with family members and his friends. He lies about going to counseling for his issues. He lies about his multiple blackberry accounts but sends you a picture from one blackberry with the other out in plain view. He lies about his relationship with his children. He lies about being married. He lies about sleeping with other women while away on jobs, under your nose and even in the same town. He lies about his feelings, he lies before, during and after sex. He lies about his religious beliefs and pretends to be intelligent. Yup, I dated one of these. What a loser. Thank god he’s not my problem.
4. The ***hole who thinks he’s perfect. He is bragadocious, chest puffing and truly believes he is better than other people. He is condescending, insulting and just plain ignorant. If you drive a Mercedes Benz, or a convertible, he’ll tell you you are a snob. He believes he is some type of 30- something, yuppy, urban hipster living in a tiny hotel room, but he thinks he’s modest and humble.He will even lie about electronic equipment and how he has no use for them. Calling himself a “luddite” but then his tiny hotel room apartment is loaded with the stuff. He has an opinion, (just like an ***hole), about how to raise children properly, when he knows nothing about it and has no parenting skills whatsoever. He is so unsure of himself, he will show you off to his friends like you’re some kind of prize posession, much like a 15 year old who might be getting laid for the first time. He is envious of other men, and you, if you happen to be smarter or better looking or more talented or get more attention then he does. He is so full of himself, he thinks he can pick up a saxophone and start wailing, no matter that he cannot hold a note or stay in key when trying to sing-a-long to Michael Row the Boat Ashore…Tra la la la la…He thinks no one is aware of his silly parlor tricks, (smoke and mirrors) and gimmicks. He also thinks he is such a good liar, that everyone believes his ridiculous stories and excuses. Oh, and one more thing. The crocodile tears. Even he believes they are real. Please refer to ***hole number 3. Same ***hole.
Well, that pretty much sums it up. As far as I can see, once an ***hole always an ***hole! 😉
- A few words about A**holes.. (betweenyesterdayandtoday.wordpress.com)