The Lover archetype encompasses everything of what you might imagine and more. He is attentive and caring. He is romantic and passionate. He is an insistent boyfriend. He is an ardent and supportive mate. He will pursue you to the ends of the earth. He has the ability to make you feel loved and will have you falling in love in no time flat. He is an adroit lover, his skill and sexual prowess is astonishing. You will pant, quiver and shake in his presence. Your femininity shines and is mirrored through him. He takes you to heights unimagined. He loves you. He adores you. He can’t live without you. And he really does.
Unfortunately, he loves your girlfriends, sister, mother and any and all females in his breathing space. One of his opening lines will be, “I love women”. At the outset you take this to mean he is in touch with his feminine side and appreciates women. He probably has grown up with sisters and his mother idolizes him. This furthers your belief that this is a male understanding of the female dynamic. Do not be fooled or lured into this line of thinking.
What he has gleaned having been raised with females are our vulnerabilities. Our differences to our male counterparts. He has watched his sisters go through relationships and dating, in high school, college and beyond. Witnessing the ardent teen age romances he took notes. What makes us tick, what we find attractive, what gets our panties off….He has acted as guard, administrator and counselor. He is a surveyor. A purveyor, of women.
He is almost perfect in every way from his lifetime of study. He has perfected his role. He will go shopping with you nary a complaint. He will spend hours on the phone listening to your drivel about the neighbor, your colleagues at work or even past boyfriends. He can weep in front of you shamelessly and will, no matter the subject, be it the loss of your grandmother, your job or even while watching the abuse perpetrated on Animal Cops: Jersey City. This performance wins him an Oscar in the eyes of his latest conquest.
This behavior in addition to the intimacy you share with him convinces you of his undying love. Your mother likes him. Your friends like him. (Not so much your male friends but you tend to ignore that), believing instead they are envious he has gotten into your knickers and not they. After some time you will notice he does not have many male friends in general. He has buddies at work but they rarely get together. He is not invited to their outings because none of these guys wants him around “their” women. Of course, he makes excuses for this and you fall for it ever time.
He has gaps in his whereabouts and although he has reasonable explanations your gut tells you something is off. He keeps his phone out in plain sight and it rings only from his coworkers or his doting mother. This may assure you he is on the up and up. The doting mother is a dead ringer you’re dealing with The Lover. Months from now you will find he has two other phones, multiple email accounts and is registered on several dating sites. He is not a predator. His intentions are good. He loves you. He really loves the singular female etiology.
Do not fall in love with The Lover. If you do, it will take some time to reveal who he really is. Be extremely watchful of your sexual antics with him. You will find yourself sexually addicted. I recently read an article on, the mind control properties of semen. I had to read it because initially I thought it had to be some kind of a joke. I was shocked to learn how scientific this stuff really is. In a nut shell, male semen contains biological properties that when the female anatomy comes into contact with it, chemical reactions occur making HIM the only mate you will want to bond with sexually! It gives the male the assurance of your fidelity to only him and promises his progeny will in fact be his. This is a biological function and all males have this power over the females of their species. It is why female wolves, swans, bald eagles, bonnet head sharks, prairie voles and beavers, (no pun intended), stick with one guy. In many ways it is a good thing. For a monogamous female that is. Unless you are a humpback whale of course. But having tons of sperm from multiple suitors simultaneously swimming around inside you at any given time is never a good thing.
The Lover used to be called a Don Juan or a Cassanova. Today he is referred to as “The Player”. Call him what you will, but be mindful of the animal in your midst and always, always remember, to him you really are just a beaver.