The Truth about Toilet Guy

It always makes me laugh when I go out and someone is “tending” to the lavatory. I wonder, how does a person go about getting a job like that and more importantly why would anyone want to?

I realize times are tough these days, but a bathroom attendant? This is a human being who sits or stands or in some cases watches TV for 8 hours while people come and go from the toilet and do you know what. Think about that for a second……..
Alright have you got the visual? The essence of where this trip is about to embark? Well, hold on to your seats because the men’s toilet can be one of the hottest venues around. It must be. Right?

First of all we need to set a precedent here. Men in bars go to the toilet a lot more often than the average guy sitting on the sofa watching the game. Not being a man I can only assume there is one reason for this. The erection??

Normally I figure a man is like a woman when it comes to relieving oneself. I would say unless copious amount of fluids are taken in, 3 or 4 times a day generally suffices. A day meaning in an 8 or even a 12 hour period. In an average 2 hour visit, he may excuse himself 2 or 3 times. I believe it works like a pressure release valve or something like that. I was never good at figuring out the mechanics of a thing being a girl and all, but this kind of makes sense

It has come to my attention that if they are gone for more than say 15 minutes one of three things is occurring. One is number two. No one likes to think about that. Two he is talking to the toilet attendant and probably getting an insiders scoop of the establishment or three, he snuck out to do one of two things. One, leave without paying. Or two, go to the ATM and get oodles of cash. Obviously number two of number three wins hands down. See how mathematical you really need to be if you work in a bar?
It behooves Toilet Guy to keep the other guy in there for a bit however. He is a working stiff like everyone else. He wants a patron to use all of the cheesy colognes and hand sanitizers.

What most people do not know is that in many cases Toilet Guy buys his toilet supplies. Not toilet paper per se but he does purchase the colognes, aftershaves, hand lotions, (usually a lot of money goes into the purchase of hand lotions and I think I know why), razors, toothbrushes, toothpaste, hand sanitizer and all the man stuff a man might need in a toilet. For this incredible amount of work and personal sacrifice from his own pocket, he receives a dollar for each guy that uses HIS facility. Once in a while someone will drop a $5 in his little basket. Woo Hoo!

Toilet Guy really takes his business seriously. He comes to work on time wearing a tuxedo, places all of his inventory out on the counter and sits and watches the game on closed circuit flatscreen lcd/hd tv. And it is HIS facility. Make no mistake about it, he is  in the franchise business. Not only does he keep his inventory well stocked, he cleans the toilet. He maintains the plumbing also in the event of a plugged toilet and he has a handy little closet with all the tools you might need to fix a clogged toilet. What fun!
I suppose he really didn’t think out his business plan so well.
Still, you’ve got to give the guy credit. Day in and day out there he is doing his toilet thing and just trying to make people happy.

Passing by the men’s lavatory with the door ajar and the cheesy fragrances wafting out you might catch a glimpse of him. Sitting in his chair, in the toilet, eating a steak. It’s a very interesting thing to observe and if you ever get the chance or are even remotely intrigued, I suggest you do it just once. It’s humbling.
In times like these it’s good to give thanks for an honest days work.

© [Summer Said] and [], [2011-2012]. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to [Summer Said] and [] with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Copyright infringement and/or plagarism is considered theft of intellectual pro.perty


Hi there! Thanks for your input!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s